My Demons
by Xxobsessive
Summary: A bit of retelling of Junjou Romantica from Usami Akihiko's point of view. Elements of Akihiko's dark past will be revealed! Rated M for dark themes, sex, and lots of cursing. A rock song fic! Title: My Demons – Starset
1. Chapter 1

**What pisses me off about Junjou Romantica is that some things are just very unclear. Such as why Akihiko thinks he'll hurt Misaki or why his father thinks Misaki is a troublesome existence and shouldn't be with his son? Well, I've come up with some of my own theories and made them into a story. Akihiko's past is extremely dark in this story.  
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**Not everything in the story will match the real storyline or facts in the story. Get over it. It's a work of FICTION.**

**And if you like rock music, each chapter is a song! And the whole story is based on the song My Demons by Starset. You should look up the songs if you don't know them. It'll greatly enhance your reading experience!**

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Chapter 1: Remember Everything - Five Finger Death Punch

I woke up from my reoccurring nightmare drenched in sweat. My heart was pounding even as the adrenaline left my body. It took several minutes for my breathing to even out. The images in my head were still so vivid, even though the dream was over.

It was 10 years ago. Why can't I forget?

It's all over. It's in the past. Nothing can change what has happened. It's time to move forward. I've learned from this and it has made me a better person. I have to forget.

I knew I had to get my mind off the nightmare, so I imagined myself with the love of my life, Takahashi Takahiro. I imagined us walking hand in hand down the street. His hand was warm and he had the biggest smile on his face. I turned to him to tell him that I love him.

Suddenly, the scene changed, drastically. We were in bed, making love. He was lying below me, looking up into my eyes. His own eyes were full of lust and passion. The picture of us making love felt so real that I was getting hard.

Dream Takahiro arched his back in pleasure. "I love you, Usagi," he moaned, using my nickname he has given me years ago.

The image shattered after that, as it normally does whenever I daydream about him. I'm still not sure why I can't imagine anything past his confession to me. Maybe the reasonable part of my mind shuts the whole thing down because it knows that it will never happen.

At least my mind is no longer on the past.

I got out of bed and took a quick, cold shower. I changed into a light gray suit and black tie with bears on it. My entire wardrobe consists of suits and ties. I have to look nice for the public, mostly because my editor would kill me if I looked bad. I also enjoy living a sophisticated and wealthy lifestyle. It's what I grew up with.

I am the youngest heir to the Usami cooperation. My whole family is rich. I grew up in England until I was 10. I then lived in a mansion in rural Japan with my mother, father, and older half-brother. Of course, various maids and butlers also lived with us. I never bothered to learn their names, except for Tanaka-san. He was a nice guy who left me alone.

Because of coming from such a wealthy family I never really got to live a normal childhood with toys and playing with other children. So I started collecting when I moved out on my own at age 18. I have hundreds of stuffed bears. Bears are my favorite animal: strong and menacing, yet cute and fluffy. I also like stuffed rabbits (hence Takahiro's nickname for me) and toy trains. My penthouse looks refined, but there are several rooms devoted to toys and other childish things that my family never gave me.

I have never gotten along with my family. My mother ignored me, my brother (who wasn't her son), and my father. She loved living the lifestyle of the rich and the famous. She's the one who made us all live in England when she married my father. She caused all the trouble, I guess you could say. My father brought me and my brother back to Japan once they got a divorce, but all he talked about was me helping take over the company with my brother one day.

And my brother… I don't even want to think about him today.

Anyways, my biggest passion has always been writing. My senpai in England was always reading. I wanted to be just like him, so I would read all the time as well. I began creating my own stories as soon as I could write. Senpai told me I had a gift for writing, so I kept doing it.

I fell in love with how somebody could create vast worlds of characters using just words: nothing but squiggles on paper that people interpret and draw meaning from. Words, books; they're just scribbles on paper. Wars have been fought over books. Blood has been shed over words. They cause so much chaos and elicit deep emotion. The pen isn't just mightier than the sword: the pen becomes the sword.

I became the sword.

My first novel was published when I was 17, thanks to a good friend of my brother who is now the director of the publishing agency that publishes my work. It received remarkable reviews and soon I was swimming in money, so to speak. I continued writing best-selling novels and got to work with some challenging editors. Deadlines seem to be my ultimate downfall. At least my editor now helps me get my boys love novels published.

On an even more exciting note, just last month I won the prestigious Naomori Award for my latest novel. What makes that even more exciting is that I was the youngest ever to receive that award. I was so incredibly honored to win, but mostly I just wanted to rub it in my family's faces. I thought they'd finally see that writing is my true calling and leave me alone.

Suddenly my phone began to ring, pulling me out of my thoughts. I took my time walking downstairs to the phone. It was probably just Aikawa-san, my editor, bitching about me getting the draft of my newest novel done before the deadline. I wish she'd just learn that artwork takes time.

I picked up the phone by maybe the 7th ring. "Yes?"

There was a short pause. "Akihiko." The familiar voice was harsh. Just hearing him brought bile up into my mouth. "How are you?"

Like he cares how I feel. "Fine. Why are you calling?" I don't even try to hide the annoyance in my voice. I don't want to be civil with him.

He sighed. "Straight to point, Akihiko. Fine. I want you to come back home and-"

"No," I interrupted. No way in hell was I going home. "I'm 28 years old and an extremely successful author. There's no need for me to work in the family business."

"It's what father wants, Akihiko."

My hand was squeezing the phone so tightly that I thought it might break. "You can handle running the company by yourself when he retires."

He sighed again. "Akihiko… I'll be honest with you now."

Why is he saying _now_? My brother has always been one to speak his mind anyways, especially to me and about me. He never had a problem telling me and my mother and father how much he hated me. He never had any trouble making my life miserable and taking everything away from me.

"Winning that award was huge for you, especially since you're the youngest person ever to win it. You're only going to get more famous now. You're going to attract a lot more attention. People are going to start snooping around in not only your present life, but also your past life."

My blood ran cold as he said that. Memories of the dream I had rushed to my head. I felt weak and empty inside. I remembered everything. I remembered it all within the span of a few seconds before my brother spoke again.

"Akihiko, we can protect you if you come to the company. I know things won't go well if word gets out. Our father will make sure you'll be safe if you just work for him."

I knew it was true. My father is so rich he can make anything happen. He would protect me… protect us. But I can't work for him. I want to live my life and make it all worthwhile. I don't want to be tied down in his company and not work for myself. Besides, writing is my one true passion. It's the only thing I'm good at.

"No," was all I said before I hung up the phone and unplugged the cord from the wall.

Before I could do anything else the doorbell rang. I smiled. Takahiro was here. Everything that happened that day, from the nightmare to the phone call, disappeared when I thought about spending some time with my love. Just being close to him gave me comfort and happiness.

When I walked over and opened the door, Takahiro did not look very happy. His brow was furrowed over his gray eyes and the lovely smile he normally wore was missing. He was looking down at a piece of paper.

"Takahiro?" I asked. "What is it? What's the matter?"

He looked up at me, sighing. "Usagi, I'm not sure what to do."

I stepped out of the entryway and let him through. He took off his shoes and made his way to the couch. He has been in my penthouse suite so many times now that he knows where everything is. It's practically a second home to him. I wish he would just live here with me already.

"It's about Misaki," he said as I sat down on the other end of the couch.

Oh yeah… I forgot about his little brother. That kid means the world to Takahiro. He's the only family he's got. Their parents died in a tragic car accident 10 years ago; around the time a great tragedy happened to me as well. I guess that's what drew Takahiro and I closer together. I understood the pain he was going through and I was able to calm him down.

He was already 18 when his parents died. His brother was only 8. He probably would have gone into foster care if it wasn't for Takahiro. He stepped up and said he would take care of Misaki. It was hard watching him being thrust into parenthood like that. It was hard for him to adjust at first, but he got the hang of it quickly and the two brothers became best friends. In fact, Misaki is all he ever talks about. It's like he's a real father after all.

"Ah, yes," I said, feigning interest. "How is he doing?"

He handed me the piece of paper, sighing. "Not good."

The paper was actually a book report. It was only one paragraph long. Just three sentences. It wasn't a paper. It wasn't even a book report! All it said was that the book was super, it made him feel touched, and that he could have never written that. Obviously he could never write a book judging from this terrible homework assignment. I couldn't help but groan.

Is this kid some sort of idiot? Why is Takahiro praising him all the time?

"Uhh…"

Takahiro sighed again, leaning his head back. "He has D's in all his classes. He's a bright kid, he really is, but he just doesn't do well on test or homework assignments or anything school related really. He's taken two practice college entrance exams and received D's for every college both times. I've tried helping him but he doesn't seem to be getting any better in school."

Seriously? This idiot is the kid that Takahiro talks about non-stop and thinks is the greatest?!

"Has he always done poorly in school?" I asked.

"Yes. I guess I'm just not a good teacher."

I wasn't sure what to say. Luckily, I didn't have to say anything because at that moment he shot forward. His eyes beamed and his mouth hung open in a smile. I could almost see a light bulb click on above his head. I definitely was not expecting the idea that he had come up with.

"I know! Usagi, please tutor Misaki for me!"

Tutor… The word brought bile back up into my throat. My stomach twisted into a knot. The memories flashed in my mind again. I remembered everything…

Takahiro must not have noticed the turmoil I was in. He kept smiling and looking up at me with pleading, yet happy eyes. His hands were clasped together and I thought he might actually get down on his knees on the floor to beg.

"I know you can help him, Usagi! You graduated at the top of your class at T University! You just won the Naomori Award! You're the smartest person I know. Can't you please tutor my brother?"

He looked so incredibly cute when he begged. How could I say no to the love of my life? I swallowed my pride, and the disgusting taste in my mouth, and smiled at him. I nodded slowly, which made him beam even brighter with happiness.

"Okay, I'll tutor him," I said, nearly choking on the word. "But of course I'll have to get compensated for my troubles."

"Name your price!"

I smirked. "Your homemade miso pork soup. That's all I want. I'll be happy to help you out, Takahiro."

I had never seen the man so grateful before. He hugged me tight. It took all of my restraint not to touch him or kiss him. Luckily, he pulled away before I lost all self-control. He left, promising to be in touch to set up a date when I could meet the boy I would tutor.

_Tutor…_

Once Takahiro was gone, I walked into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. The past gnawed at my brain and begged me to think about it. I fed the memories whiskey to keep them at bay. They retreated, leaving me with a numb feeling all over in my body as well as my brain. Before I knew it, the whole bottle was empty and I was falling into a dreamless slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, dear readers! Sorry for the delay. I was busy with final exams. But now I'm on summer break so I'll have more time to update! WOO HOO!**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 2

I pulled my shiny red sports car into the parking lot of the apartment complex where Takahiro and his brother lived. I had agreed to help the high school kid pass his college entrance exams, but I had never met him before. It just made sense to me to meet with him before I actually started to tutor him.

And, yes… I wanted to see Takahiro as well.

Honestly, I wasn't at all happy about tutoring his kid brother. The way Takahiro looked when he begged me and how he happy when he was when I agreed to do it almost made it all worth it. Almost… I should have told him that he'd have to go out on a date with him as payment rather than asking him for homemade soup.

Unfortunately, Takahiro is straight. He even has a girlfriend. As much as it hurts me, I know that he's very happy with her. He doesn't talk about her very often, but when he does, his dull eyes light up brighter than the sun. He smiles more genuinely and he laughs more as he does so. They've been together for quite a while now. I wonder if he thinks of her as The One.

At that thought, I cringed and finally got out of the car. I just wanted to see Takahiro. That would take my mind off his girlfriend. I just had this hunch that he wouldn't bring her up today. Today was set aside for his brother. His brother was definitely more important than his girlfriend.

I walked up the stairs and down the hall to their apartment. I didn't bother knocking on the door. I went right inside and made my way into the den. Takahiro was sitting on the couch reading a book. He looked up at me and smiled. It wasn't the same smile he had on whenever he talked about his girlfriend. It kind of broke my heart…

"Hello, Usagi! Good to see you." He patted the spot next to him, offering me the seat. "Misaki isn't home just yet, but he should be soon."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I arrive too early?" I feigned ignorance. I came early on purpose. I wanted to spend some time alone with Takahiro. I would get enough time with his little brother later.

"It's quite alright! You're welcome in my home anytime!"

He smiled at me again. Still, the smile was not as beautiful as it was when he spoke of his girlfriend. My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt defeated. I hope he couldn't see the disappointment on my face. How would I explain to him that I was in love with him? He would never want to talk to me again. He is not interested in me.

Still… I can't just leave my love for him behind. Giving up on loving Takahiro would be like giving up a part of my own identity. Not having him as my friend would kill me inside. I've been in love with him for 10 years now. He's my best friend. In fact, I'd say that he's closer to me than my childhood friend Kamijou Hiroki.

Takahiro placed his book down on the coffee table in front of the couch and turned to give me his full attention. "So, Usagi, anything new in your life? Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

I almost rolled my eyes at him. "Takahiro, you know that I don't live that way."

He chuckled. "Yes, I know. Usagi the Loner."

I nodded and laughed with him. There was no way I was going to tell him that I was gay. That would completely change the way he looked at me. He might even stop being friends with me forever if he found that out. And God forbid he ever found out that I was in love with him of all people. That's one sure way to lose a friend.

He then sighed and looked at me with a serious face. "Usagi, are you sure you want to live like that? Finding your soul mate and being with her is a truly amazing experience. That's how I feel about Manami-san."

He smiled that genuine smile again and started talking about the girl. My heart thumped hard in my chest and I tried to tune it out as best as I could. Without listening, I smiled and laughed when he laughed. I nodded at time that seemed appropriate. Instead I thought of us being together instead.

This can't be real… I can't lose him to someone else.

His lips stopped moving and I opened my ears again. "Takahiro, I…"

A loud whistle erupted from another room. He jumped up and rushed into the kitchen, leaving me with my own thoughts again. Was I really about to tell him how I truly feel? Why would I be stupid enough to do that? I can't lose him as a friend. Losing him forever is worse than just not having him as a lover, right?  
"The tea is ready!" he called.

I stood up and walked into the kitchen. He was pouring tea into mugs for all three of us. My brain was fuzzy with affection and I wanted nothing more than to love him. Deep in my heart I desperately wanted to tell him how I feel. In my mind, I knew I shouldn't if I wanted to keep him as a friend.

"Takahiro, I…" I started again. He looked up at me with those innocent eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "I-I…I'm happy for you and your girlfriend, by the way."

I felt my stomach tighten. What the hell was that? Why can't I just be a man and tell him how I truly feel? I'll never know what he truly thinks about me unless I tell him I really feel about him.

He smiled at me. "Thank you, Usagi. That's means a lot to me coming from you. I'm really glad you approve."

Approve… Takahiro, you have no idea how much I _don't_ approve.

He looked at the clock on the wall and frowned. "Misaki should have been home by now. I wonder where he is."

He placed the tea pot down and walked out of the kitchen. I frantically followed him out. I didn't want Misaki to be home just yet. I still needed more time for my feelings to get across to the dimwit I fell in love with. I have to tell him now or else things will never go well for me.

We walked out into the hall and Takahiro started heading for the door. "Maybe I should go out and look for him," he said.

I reached out and grabbed his hand before he could go any farther. "Takahiro, wait!"

He looked at me, puzzled. "What is it, Usagi?"

Without thinking, I grabbed his slender, short body and moved towards him. My hands cupped his cheeks as I leaned close to him. My heart had stopped beating momentarily. I had to show him how I truly felt before things got too serious with that girl. He needed to be mine.

As I was about to lean closer and kiss him, the door suddenly popped open and a young voice called out. "I'm home."

I stopped short and both myself and Takahiro turned towards the boy in the entrance way. His bright emerald eyes were wide with surprise. His cheeks were a little flushed. He had come at the worst possible time.

Takahiro gasped in surprised. "Ah, welcome back, Misaki!"

This was the legendary Misaki?

Takahiro chuckled. "Come on, Usagi. Get off me!"

I realized I was still pressing up against him with my arms now around his neck. I couldn't believe his brother had found us like this. I'll never hear the end of it from Takahiro.

"So, this is your kid brother, Takahiro?" I said, not getting off of him like he asked me to.

"Yep! Misaki, this is my friend, Usami Akihiko."

The boy stared at me. He looked nothing like Takahiro. His hair was a light brown rather than a dark, almost black, color. His eyes were wide and bright green. He was short and slim like Takahiro though. I just couldn't see any resemblance in their faces.

"Hmm, so you two are nothing alike," I said.

The boy didn't say anything. He just stared at me, almost like he was furious with me. Why? I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything to him. What a child…

Takahiro chuckled. "He inherited my mother's features while I got my father's."

The way he spoke about his parents so casually made me upset. Apparently it made Misaki upset as well. His eyes almost looked watery and the color had drained from his face. I had to change the subject fast.

I quickly pulled myself away from Takahiro and walked up to Misaki. He cringed away from me. My tall stature must have intimidated him. "So, I hear that you're in need of a tutor."

It took him a minute, but he finally nodded. "Y-yes, sir."

I frowned. "You don't have to be so formal. Usami-sensei will work just fine." He nodded again, but didn't say anything. "So, let's see your entrance exam scores."

He shakily lifted his hand that held a piece of paper. I gently snatched it from his fingers. Two D's and one C. Seriously? He'd never get into any school with scores like that! I couldn't help but cringe myself. How could someone related to Takahiro, who is sharp as a tack, be so dull and stupid?

"I see," was all I could say.

Takahiro stepped up and wrapped his arm around his younger brother. "Don't worry, Misaki! Usagi graduated at the top of his class at Teito University. He'll be able to help you for sure."

Takahiro looked at me with pleading eyes again. My heart burst with passion for that man. How could I say no to him? So I nodded.

I'm not sure if I can stand spending so much time with a person I hardly know. It will be even more difficult since he's 10 years younger than I am and definitely not as intelligent as me.

But for Takahiro, I must endure it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Otherside

It wasn't a nightmare this time. It was still a dream about my past, but a pleasant one. I was dreaming about the first time I met Takahiro.

I always finished my tests early in school. They were too easy for me. I had nothing else to do but write. I didn't know where to put all the rushing current of ideas in my head, so I wrote them on the desk. I could write whatever I wrote on the desk on paper later. First I just had to get the ideas out of my head and into the real world.

It was a couple days after an end of semester test. I sat down in my normal seat, not in the desk where I had written a story on the day of the test. There on my usual desk was something scrawled there in someone else's handwriting.

_I liked the novel. Could you write the sequel if you have time left over? - Takahashi_

I nearly blushed, not believing that someone had actually read it. Then I became extremely happy knowing that someone liked my stories. I knew that Takahashi Takahiro was a bright student, so I was delighted that someone like him enjoyed what I wrote.

So when it was time for the next time, I finished early and wrote the next story on Takahiro's desk. Honestly, I hadn't planned a sequel to the first one I had written, but I wanted to make him happy, which I definitely did.

After school, he ran up to me, his face beaming. "Usami! You're so talented! It was a great read!"

The gleam in his eyes and excited tone to his voice told me that he was being sincere. I smiled inside, glad that someone appreciated my hard work. It was at that moment that I fell in love with him.

Suddenly, there was a loud crashing noise in the real world.

"HEY! WAKE UP, YOU BASTARD PIECE OF CRAP AUTHOR! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BOOK?! THIS IS YOU AND MY BROTHER IN THIS BOOK! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

That voice was incredibly annoying anyways, but when he was screaming it was 10 times worse. And that brat woke me out of a good dream! I never get to enjoy nice dreams! What hell was _he_ thinking?! And who the hell just barges into some stranger's bedroom like that?! I was beyond pissed.

Then it hit me what he was referring to. He saw a copy of Romance Belongs in the Student Council Office. Aikawa-san was going to bring a few of those over, along with some copies of my new novel, Heights of the Sky, Depths of the Ocean. He never would have known that I had written that book (since I used the penname Yayoi Akikawa to publish them) if Aikawa-san hadn't left some copies there.

I cursed myself for telling the brat he could let himself in. But still, that didn't give him the right to go through other people's stuff and break into someone's room, waking them up from a great dream about his brother. And yes, I had overslept, but it was still rude of him. Didn't Takahiro ever teach him manners?

I pushed myself up and turned to him, making sure to give the kid the nastiest evil eye ever. "You saw, didn't you?"

He suddenly looked nervous, obviously bothered by my dark aura, but he quickly regained his composure and looked angry. "Hey, you!" He held up a copy of the boys love novel and pointed to it for emphasis. "The characters in this dirty novel are you and my brother, aren't they?!" He then made a scene of throwing it on the floor. "So you really were a pervert!"

I really was a _pervert_? What in the world was he going on about? He was a long winded kid. If I let him, he might talk my ear off for hours. Do I really have to tutor this brat?

And he continued. "I knew there was something weird about you from the moment we met! You were hanging all over my brother! And you said that for tutoring me, you wanted his homemade pork miso soup as payment! It's creepy! Don't try to drag my brother into something weird!"

Dragging him? Is this kid insane? I'm not doing anything to his brother! I was at my limit now. Anymore of his nonsense and I would explode. I took the chance and stood up when his eyes were closed and his head was down.

"He's sort of oblivious, and he's really good natured, so you're taking advantage of him against his will, aren't you?!"

Taking advantage? I hadn't done anything! Why does he think I'm a bad guy? I'll show this brat…

I slammed an open hand into the wall right beside his head. I was seething mad now. I wished the spot on the wall was his face. He shut his mouth and remained still. Finally… How dare he accuse me of doing something, especially hurting my true love?

"Who's doing something against his will?" I asked. He was about to speak but I cut him off. "Did Takahiro tell you that he's being taken advantage of?" No, of course he didn't tell him, because he's not being taken advantage of.

The brunette looked scared, but still managed to look me in the eyes. "N-no, he didn't, but… An-anyway don't go near my brother! Go find someone else! Any guy will do, right?!"

My eyes went wide. Any guy will do? What the hell does he think he knows about love? He should have stayed where he belongs – out of my business. I knew I had to teach him a lesson and show him whose boss. I grabbed his wrist and tugged him towards the bed. Yes, _any_ guy will do…

"Hey, wait!" he cried out.

I threw him onto my bed and knelt over him with one of my knees between his legs. I pinned his wrists down to the bed. Rather than looking scared or angry, he just looked confused, but he was shaking a little. He was as dense as Takahiro. I guess they really are related.

"What would you know about my relationship with Takahiro?" I asked. Takahiro couldn't know about my love for him. He was too dense. Even if he did, I didn't think he would tell his little brother all about it.

"Hey, let go!" the kid screamed and pulled his arms away.

He turned over below me and was about to crawl away. I quickly forced his head down onto the bed, causing him to gasp and struggle for air. I didn't leave his head down for long. I didn't plan to kill him. At least, not yet anyways.

"'Any guy will do,' huh?" I pulled my hand away and heard him sharply inhale and gasp. "You piss me off…"

He was then in a very vulnerable position, on his knees in front of me. His words were still ringing in my ears. He must be jealous of his brother. He must want the love and affection of Usami Akihiko too. I'll show this kid…

I leaned forward and cupped my hands around the crotch of his pants. He gasped. I cupped his balls and squeezed them, feeling them pulse against my palm. I wonder if he's ever felt the touch of another man before. Before I could go any further, he jerked his whole body back and pushed me off of him.

"Bastard!" he screamed as he started to turn around. "What're you – "

I grabbed his wrist again to stop him. He was not going to get away from me now. I grabbed the string of his hoodie and pulled it out. My other hand traveled around his waist and held him close to me. I could feel him shaking even harder now against me. Good. He was scared of me.

"Any guy…" I whispered into his ear. "You're the one who said it."

He gasped again. My hand that was around his waist moved up under his shirt, feeling the skin of his belly. His skin was warm and smooth. He wasn't struggling or cringing away from my touch. My hand reached his chest.

"Th-that's not what I meant!" His voice was breathy as he spoke, almost like he wanted to moan. My fingers caressed his left nipple and it instantly became hard. "Hold on a second!" His breath was raspy. I knew he was enjoying it. "Quit it, you pervert!" he shouted as I planted a kiss on his exposed neck.

His body was quivering from being touched. It was kind of cute. I let go of the string of his hoodie and reached down to his waist again. My hand easily slid into his jeans, snapping the button. I groped his hardening manhood through his underwear. He let out a breathy moan as my other hand reached up to his neck and caressed his chin. My fingers circled his shaky lips. His hand reached up and grabbed my arm.

"If you want to call for help, why don't you go ahead and cry out?" He grunted, trying to hold back moans as I stroked him through his underwear. "Mr. Dummy who got a D."

He turned his head and faced me, bearing his teeth. "What did you just say?!"

Go ahead and cry for help, kid. I dove into the treasure chest and wrapped my fingers around his length. He cried out in pleasure and threw himself down. His hand gripped the sheets as he moaned and shook. I pulled his other hand behind his back. He looked so vulnerable. It was… adorable.

I stroked his length up and down, slow at first. He wasn't very big, but it wasn't anything to scoff at. Damn he was sensitive. Every little touch of my fingers made him moan and shake. He tried so hard to keep his voice quiet, but I could tell he was enjoying it. He let out a soft moan that really turned me on.

I let go out of his arm and leaned over his back. My free hand traveled up his shirt again, rubbing his warm skin, as I started to stroke him faster. He still hadn't cried out for help or to tell me to stop. The only sounds he made were sexy moans.

"Hmm… you're cute," I whispered into his soft hair.

His moans suddenly got louder and more intense. I knew he was close, already. I picked up even more speed and made sure to rub the head of his member as I reached the top. His hand gripped the sheets tightly and his whole body shook as he released into my hand. He held back his moans and grunts as best as he could, but I could see right through him. He enjoyed it. Besides, why else would he not tell me to stop?

He lay there, breathing heavily, as I pulled away. I brought my wet hand to my lips and licked his bittersweet essence off of my hand.

"That was fast," I laughed.

He gripped the sheets again, still shaking. He was either pissed or really upset now. I stood up and grabbed my cigarettes off the nightstand. I lit one up and took a long drag. I turned back to the boy on my bed. He still lay on the bed, shaking.

"I'll be downstairs," I said. "Come down whenever you're ready and we can get started."

As I inhaled my toxins and walked downstairs, my head became a bit clearer. I had just molested my true love's younger brother. No, not molested. Just touched. He wanted it too, right? He didn't cry out or scream at me to stop. He was resistant at first, but he didn't stop me. He enjoyed it. He came, and very quickly too. It was consensual, right?

I quickly finished my cigarette and started smoking another one. A certain man from my past was going through my head. I didn't want him there. But doing what I just did with Misaki made me think of that man…

I would certainly have another nightmare of him tonight.

* * *

**Song: Otherside - Red Hot Chili Peppers**

**Review, please? ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Misaki came downstairs shortly after I had finished my second cigarette. He kept his head low so I couldn't see his eyes. I was pretty sure he was pissed… beyond pissed. In truth, I was a little pissed at myself for what I did. If Takahiro ever found out, he would kill me, even though he's not at all a violent man. However, this was his brother that he's taken care of for 10 years. He always has been and always will be overprotective of the boy. He would never forgive me for hurting his brother, and I certainly can't have him angry with me.

"Why don't we sit down in the den and we can chat?" I suggested to Misaki.

The boy didn't say anything. He kept his head down, but I could see a slight movement as he nodded. He went and sat on one of the couches in front of the coffee table while I went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. The least I could do now was be a kind host to the kid. Hopefully he wouldn't run home and tell Takahiro everything.

I came back out into the den with two mugs of tea. He finally lifted his head as I handed him his drink. His wide, emerald eyes didn't show any emotion. In fact, his face just kind of looked bored. He thanked me for the tea and took a sip before placing the mug down on the table in front of him.

Neither of us spoke, even after I had taken my seat on the couch on the other side of the table. Misaki just stared around the room, occasionally glancing at me as if to say 'Hey, old man, hurry up and help me pass my exams, will ya?' Even though I love the quiet, the silence between us was extremely awkward.

"So, I guess I'll start then," I finally said after a few long minutes. "Since you don't know me from a hole in the wall and I'm going to tutor you for a few months, let me tell you a bit about myself." I started to smoke another cigarette as I talked.

When I talk about myself, I somehow end up revealing way more than other people want to know. I have a bit of a narcissistic personality. So, I ended up telling the kid about how I grew up in England, excelled in school, became a successful author at a young age, and graduated Teito University at the top of my class. All of these facts just made him even more bored.

I switched gears and told him all about my obsession with the middle-class life. He had already seen the toy paradise that was my bedroom and my favorite bear, who I named Suzuki-san, was sitting right beside me on the couch. He had to have been wondering just what was wrong with me. Even as I introduced him to Suzuki-san, he still looked painfully uninterested.

Suddenly, he became very animated and pointed at me. "Ah-ha! Because you're the quintessential rich boy! I know how it is: the father who pays no attention to his family, the mother who neglects childrearing in favor of her hobbies, and also on bad terms with your older brother. So you grew up all alone. Those around you never notice how you feel and you go astray for a while, but in truth, you're just lonely."

I hid my shock from him. How did he know all of that? Of course, there's no way he could have unless Takahiro told him what I had told him about my past. I just don't see Takahiro as the type to talk about other people like that. If this kid is that smart, why isn't he doing well in school at all?

"To top it all off," he continued, "you have a red sports car and a long-haired dog, named Alexander!" He looked so smug and pleased with himself as he finished.

I stared blankly at him. "How did he you know that?"

His eyes became even wider, as if he couldn't believe that he was right. "Oh!" He smacked his hands together, clearly not finished. "Then I bet it's the same with your orientation, right? Your mother brought home a lover and you witnessed it. Ergo, you were traumatized! After that, women were no good to you. And that's when the nice guy who was tutoring you messed around with you, and made you realize that you had this side to you."

I almost lost my composure completely. Almost. I held it together by taking a big swig of tea. How in the world could he possibly know all that? My mother did cheat on my father, causing them to eventually divorce. And my senpai in England… the way the kid talked about him made senpai seem like a terrible person.

Senpai was a gentle man who helped me discover myself. He showed me my talent for writing and helped me discover my orientation. I had told him that I liked him a lot, but it was a different kind of feeling than with the girls in my class. He smiled and assured me that it was okay. Then he started touching me… and I enjoyed it.

Every time senpai would tutor me or we would play together, he touched me and made me feel good. He taught me how to touch him and make him feel good as well. He didn't go so far as to have his way with me, although I did want him to after a while. My parents divorced and I left England before things went that far with senpai.

The things I did with senpai followed me throughout my life. Sometimes I think that if my father had made us all live in Japan or if my parents would have gotten divorced earlier then I would have never met senpai and I wouldn't have done the things that I did in my life.

When I was sure the wall I had built around me wasn't going collapse, I put down the mug and said, "If people found out about that now, it'd be all over the papers."

Again, the brat's eyes went wide and he couldn't believe that he had me figured out. In truth, there was still a lot he didn't know… and he definitely did not need to know about. Still, the kid was really arrogant about it.

I have a feeling that, no matter what… I doubt we're going to get along. But for Takahiro's sake, I have to put up with him.

Misaki seemed to have the same depressed feeling that I had about the whole thing. He stared at the ground, not saying anything else. To me, it seemed like he did not want to be here at all.

Finally, I decided that I had enough with the past and that it was time to get on the author tutoring. "So, what school are you trying to get into?" I asked as I took another puff of my cigarette.

Misaki kept his head down as he spoke. "Mitsuhashi University."

I tried to hold back a laugh. Was he serious? With his grades? "Are you dreaming?"

He jumped up and started to yell at me, an angry fire growing in his eyes. "What the hell?! You piss me off at every turn! There's no way to know unless I give it a try!"

"But I do know. I looked over your answers to the mock exam before you got here," I admitted and held up his mock exam. "Putting aside your use of the wrong formulas and careless mistakes, the bigger issue is that you don't even understand the problems themselves."

The boy looked absolutely defeated as I told him this. I may as well have told him that he's dying of cancer. It's just a choice of colleges. How could not being smart enough for one college affect his life that much?

"Lower your sights. You can find an economics department at any school."

He stomped his feet on the ground as if he were a toddler throwing a tantrum. "Mitsuhashi! It absolutely has to be Mitsuhashi University!" His look then changed to one of absolute determination. "It's for my brother too! I am absolutely going to Mitsuhashi University! If I can't, then I'd rather not go to university at all!"

For Takahiro? Why would Takahiro have his hearts set on his brother going to Mitsuhashi? "Why did you bring up Takahiro?"

Misaki was suddenly taken aback. His anger was replaced with sadness as he sat back down on the couch. "You know too, don't you?" He kept his eyes on the floor, which I noticed was a common thing for him to do. "After our parents died in that accident 10 years ago, he was there every step of the way to raise me. Even though he'd been accepted to Mitsuhashi… Because of me, he gave up on Mitsuhashi and found a job."

I had almost forgotten about that… I was there at the funeral when Takahiro stepped up and declared that he would raise Misaki. Everyone tried to talk him out of giving up on college, but he's always been stubborn. I didn't realize that he was going to go to Mitsuhashi. In the aftermath of the death of his parents, he must have forgotten to tell me he had been accepted.

Now, the child that Takahiro had raised for 10 years wanted to go to Mitsuhashi, only because that's where his older brother, his caretaker, had dreamt of going. It was the most selfless act I had ever witnessed in person. This kid was so caring, at least for his brother. It actually really reminded me of Takahiro himself. I guess they really are brothers.

I was so moved that I stood up and walked over to Misaki. He stared at me with wide, questioning eyes before I gently ruffled his hair. He squirmed underneath my touch, most likely afraid that I would try touching him more.

"I understand your reason," I said with a grin. "If that's the case, we're absolutely getting you in! With Usami-sensei on your side, it'll be impossible for you to fail! Got it?"

He lifted his arms and grabbed his head where my hand had just been. A smile spread across his blushing face. "Y-yeah!"

"Then let's begin, shall we?"

I would make sure that this kid would pass his entrance exams and get into Mitsuhashi University. For Takahiro, I would do anything.

* * *

It took a lot of work, but I tutored Misaki almost every day. Sometimes he didn't understand the questions at all, but I somehow kept my patience and helped him through it. The kid was so determined to get into Mitsuhashi for his brother. It was a beautiful act of love.

It was hard at first. At one point I thought he had given up working with me after I compared him to his brother. He stopped coming to tutoring sessions for a few days. On the fourth day, a lot of snow had built up and the trains weren't running. I drove to the train station on a hunch that he would arrive and see that. He was very embarrassed when I found him. I didn't dare tell him that I had come just to pick him up, but I did apologize for my behavior.

Right after that, Misaki taught me how to make snowmen. We made so many of them. I hadn't had that much fun in a long time.

It was then that I began to notice a change in both of us.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Stardust

Even though he hated when I brought up Takahiro during our tutoring sessions, Misaki was always talking about his brother. Maybe it was because he looked up to his brother so much. Maybe it was because it was the only common ground we shared.

But I liked when he talked about Takahiro. Not just because of my love for Takahiro, but because you could see how deep Misaki's love for his brother was. He spoke so passionately about him and always seemed to have his best interests at heart.

In fact, the kid seemed to put everyone else before himself. Even though I was still just a stranger to him, he was always kind to me. He never did or said anything that would cause trouble for me. If he did, he was quick to apologize and make it up to me. Being selfish seemed to embarrass him to death.

He was the most selfless person I knew, even more so than Takahiro.

Misaki made great improvements in a short amount of time. He said that it was all thanks to my teaching methods, but I believed that it was mostly his own hard work and determination.

The one thing that bugged me though was how he seemed to see right through the mask I had worn for so many years. It annoyed me so much. How could a kid who did so poorly in school be that smart when it came to others? How could someone I barely know see into my soul without me letting him in? I was so convinced that my armor was impenetrable.

What made it worse was the fact that he was beginning to get attached to me. He became comfortable around me. Rather than dancing around me, trying not to trouble me, he began to be himself. He made sure to come to every tutoring session and even spent some of his free time around me. He even started to call me by the nickname his brother had given me. In a way, it was adorable.

"I'm sure Takahiro would be proud of you," was what I always told him. It made him blush and smile, just knowing that he could make his brother happy. I couldn't wait to see Takahiro's face when he found out how well Misaki was doing.

"I want to see the smile on his face when we get you accepted," I told him at one point. It was everything he said afterwards that made me realize he knew me deep down and had grown fond of me.

"Usagi-san, you love my brother that much?" It was a question, but I could also hear it in his voice that he was merely stating the fact.

It kind of caught me off guard, since we hadn't actually talked about my love for Takahiro. All the kid really knew was that I had written a boys love novel involving his brother and myself. Did I really show my affection for Takahiro that much?

"What's this, all of a sudden?" I asked. I couldn't help but wonder if he was worried about me taking away his brother.

"I'm just asking if you love him."

"Don't worry about it. It's a one-sided thing for me, as it were. That novel you saw is my fantasy."

He turned around at the desk he was sitting in to face me more clearly. "B-but you know, my brother has a woman he's going out with."

Where was he going with this? "I know."

He turned around completely in the chair, staring at the ground. His face was dismal. "If you really love him, you should just remove his girlfriend from the picture and become his number one yourself."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his naïve nature. Deep down, I was greatly moved. He was worried about my feelings. What a sweet kid… At that moment, I really felt bad about what I had done to him when we first met.

"You're so young," I told him. "He's the person I care about the most, so I don't want him to hate me. Being able to stay close to the one you love is perhaps the special privilege of being a true friend."

In truth, I had tried many times to reveal my feelings to Takahiro. Each time either life got in the way or he was too dense to see what I was trying to tell him. It hurt so bad, not being able to love him like I wanted to. Yet, I knew I couldn't push myself onto him.

"Th-that's stupid…" Misaki muttered under his breath as he turned back around to work.

I couldn't help but smile. I truly hoped that this kid could find happiness someday.

* * *

The day of Misaki's college entrance exams was approaching fast. I had complete faith in him. He was doing so well during our tutoring sessions. His grade went up each time he took the mock entrance exam. He was sure to get in and make his brother proud.

It was Takahiro's birthday and I had to make it special. I picked up a cake and an expensive watch for him. Misaki and I planned to surprise him when he got home from work. His brother would make him a delicious dinner and we would all enjoy the night together. I even bought champagne for the occasion, hoping Takahiro would take the hint that I'm in love with him.

As I was walking back to my car to head to Takahiro and Misaki's apartment, I spotted a familiar brown coat, a brown messenger bag, and brown locks of hair off in the sunset. I smiled knowing that I had found Misaki. We could go back to his place together and get everything set up for his brother.

I was about to walk up to him when he suddenly screamed something. I could hardly understand what it was but it ended with the word 'men'. Whatever it was he sounded angry.

I walked up closer to him. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He turned around, looking embarrassed and startled. "Wh-why hello, my teacher!" he stuttered. "I trust I doth find thee in verily most good health!" His traditional Japanese was absolutely horrid.

"We'll have to go back over your classical Japanese from scratch. Well, whatever. This is perfect timing. Let's go back together. I bought cake." I held up the bag and handed it to him. He looked very puzzled. "Today is Takahiro's birthday, remember?" He gasped. Such a scatterbrain, this kid. "The look on your face says you'd forgotten, even though we made all those plans."

"I… I wouldn't forget something like that." He paused as he reached into his coat pocket. "I… got this back today."

He handed me a slip of paper. It was another mock entrance exam score sheet. Right next to Mitsuhashi University there was a B. An above average B mark. I knew he could do it. I chuckled as I ruffled his hair. His cheeks flushed bright red.

"What're you doing that for?!"

"Good job!" I praised him with a smile.

His face remained flushed all the way to the car. On the short trip back to his apartment, he gushed over how proud his brother would be of his results. His pride made me happy. I couldn't wait to see Takahiro's face when he saw the results. He would be even more excited than Misaki.

The kid quickly cooked a large dinner when we arrived at his place. I helped to set up the table and wrapped Takahiro's gift. Misaki became more and more excited as the time went by. It made me very happy seeing him so enthusiastic. I hoped that his brother would look just as thrilled with my gift and seeing the boy's exam results.

When we heard the door pop open, we both stood by the kitchen entrance with poppers, ready to shoot streamers at Takahiro. What's a birthday party without steamers? As he came through the entrance way, we shot the colorful ribbons at him, startling him. We both shouted 'happy birthday' and watched as his whole face lit up. It made my heart race.

"Wow, what a feast! Thank you," he said excitedly.

I held out a black box laced with yellow ribbon. "Here, your present." He took the box and eyed it carefully. He probably already assumed that it was something expensive. "Remember that watch we saw? You wanted it, right?"

He looked up, surprised. "What? But it was incredibly expensive…"

I smirked. "It won't hurt you to receive something extravagant once a year."

The things I would do for you, Takahiro…

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Misaki. His face was incredibly lonely as he watched us. I felt my heart sink at the sight. He must have been scared that I was going to take his brother away from me. I felt a little bad about it.

"Wow, I really appreciate this, Usagi!" Takahiro beamed. I chuckled at him again.

"Nii-chan, make sure you lock the door," Misaki scolded and left the room.

As he left I quickly latched myself onto Takahiro, holding him tight. I was hoping that he would hug me back and tell me more about how much he loved the watch. I wanted to hear him say that was so lucky to have me in his life. It would have been even better if he confessed to me… but, one step at a time.

"Oh, sorry about that," he called.

He then tried to push me off of him, but I wouldn't let go. He smiled and began to walk into the hall, pulling me with him. We both heard Misaki gasp, like he was wondering what was going on.

"I have something important to tell you," Takahiro called out. "I'm glad you're here too, Usagi." We finally made it out into the hall. "Hey, get off me!" he said laughing.

What I saw made me let go of him completely. My heart sank deep into my stomach. By the entrance stood a beautiful looking woman with light brown, wavy hair and hazel eyes. Her smile was dazzling. Takahiro walked up to her.

"This is Kajiwara Manami-san," he introduced with a big smile and she bowed.

I recognized the name. It was the woman he had been dating for a while now. Things must have gotten a bit more serious since he invited her over to his place, and on his birthday for that matter.

"We've decided to get married!"

My eyes grew wide and it felt like my chest was caving in. No, not just caving in. It felt like my heart was being clawed open. My stomach began to churn and I felt like I was going to be sick. I had lost my chance at the love of my life… I let him slip away, right through my fingers. He still had no idea what he meant to me.

I wanted to collapse right there on the floor, but I wasn't the type to do so. I won't dare cry in front of others or let them see my sadness. I had to act happy for Takahiro now. He would want my approval. I had to show him that I did approve, even if I really didn't.

I put on a big, fake smile. "Ah, is that right? So you've finally done it, Takahiro!" I walked up to him and patted his shoulder for effect. "Hey, she's adorable!"

Can't you see the pain in my eyes, Takahiro? And after everything I've done for you…

"Thanks!" His smile was wide and genuine. "It makes me really happy that you approve. I wanted you to be the first to meet her, Usagi."

Me to be the first to meet her… How much do I really mean to you, Takahiro?

Before I could think of anything else or before anyone else could speak, there was a loud thud on the wall from behind me. I turned around to see Misaki with his fist against the wall. His head was hung low, hiding his eyes behind his shaggy hair. He was either angry or upset, or both.

"Misaki?" Takahiro questioned, sounding worried.

"I'll go…" the boy choked out.

The raw emotion in his voice was upsetting. Go where? Was he going to leave because his brother was going to get married? Where would he go? Why did it matter to him so much that his brother had found someone to be with?

"We're out of alcohol, so I'll go buy some!" he said, still with his head down.

"They won't sell it to a minor," Takahiro pointed out.

Suddenly, Misaki tightly grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me towards the door. "Usagi-san, come with me!"

He pulled me out of the apartment, quickly running down the stairs and out of the complex. He never let go of my hand as he pulled me along. I was in too much of a shock to ask him what was going on. Why would he want to leave Takahiro at a time like this? Why did he want me to go with him? I was still heartbroken over the fact that the love of my life was going to get married to someone else.

Finally, we reached an alleyway and stopped running. Misaki let go of my hand and bent down to catch his breath. It seemed to take a while and I began to worry if he could breathe at all. Suddenly, I realized that he wasn't struggling to breathe because of the running. He was sobbing. He was crying. I couldn't move a muscle.

"Sorry…" he choked out.

"Why are you apologizing?"

I assumed it was for dragging me out into the cold street just to see him cry his eyes out over losing his brother. If that was the case, I didn't mind. Takahiro was the only person he had since his parents' tragic accident. I knew what it was like to be lonely. The pain was unbearable sometimes.

"Because!" he cried out. "That was awful! After you've loved him all this time… After all the care you've shown him…"

Wait… Was he crying for me?

He wiped the tears from his eyes but kept on crying. "For him to say that he wanted you to be the first to meet her… It's so incredibly insensitive… For the first time in my life, I wanted to hit my brother!"

His sobs were awful to hear. I could feel my heart shattering all over again as I was forced to hear them ringing in my ears. He _was_ crying for _me_. He cared about my feelings that much that he felt the same pain I was feeling.

Suddenly, even though my heart had been broken, I felt the pieces throb… for Misaki. This caring, adorable kid… has to be the one. I couldn't help but smile, even though I was still in pain.

"The way you cry is appalling," I told him. I wanted him to stop so badly, before I began to hurt even worse.

"I'm crying because of you, aren't I?!"

He finally turned around to face me. I stared at the tears streaming down his face. He looked like he was in so much pain. It hurt my broken heart even more.

"Once you start crying, you can't stop, even if you want to!" he sobbed.

He broke down even harder and kept on crying. I could only think of one thing to do at the moment to help the both of us.

"You're right," I said as I put my hand on his head.

He began to look up. I took my chance and grabbed his wrist, pressing myself close to him. I pushed my lips onto to his. They were salty from his tears, but warm. They felt so good against mine. As I pressed my tongue past his lips, I let go of his wrist and instead cupped his cheek. My other arm wrapped around his waist and pulled his body closer to mine. His tongue was unmoving against mine, but it was somehow warm and inviting. He relaxed in my arms as I kissed him.

My brain was on overdrive. I was heartbroken over losing Takahiro, but at the same time I felt a passion for Misaki. Such a compassionate human being who was crying for _my_ feelings. He cared for me so much. It has to be him.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his wide eyes. They were still watery, but the tears had stopped flowing. He stared at me in amazement. His face was red with embarrassment. His breathing was ragged.

"You've stopped," I whispered.

I dropped my hand from his face and bent my head down onto his shoulder. The pieces of my heart were so overwhelmed. I held myself against the young man's body, feelings the heat flow into my soul.

"I'm sorry… Just for a little while…" My voice was very quiet.

I could stay here forever…

I felt Misaki's small arms wrap around me and hold me tight. It was almost too much for me to handle.

"U-usagi-san," he whispered, no longer sobbing. "If you want to cry, go ahead and cry."

I had just kissed him and he wanted me to cry and let out of my own feelings.

"Moron," I said. "A brat has no business spouting precocious lines like that." I paused for a moment, but I heard him start to sob again. "I'll have you know, I haven't cried in front of strangers since the day I was born."

I felt the warm drops of tears on my shoulder. He was still crying over me. It was the last straw. I felt my wall collapse and I broke completely.

"You're the only one. I'll be damned if I let anyone but you see me in this wretched state."

The water fell onto his shoulder. My hollow chest heaved as I sobbed. When I felt his hand rub my hair in an attempt to comfort me, I lost all control over myself. The tears fell harder and I sobbed louder. His fingers tangled in my hair.

_You're the only one…_ Misaki is the only one for me.

We stood there in the alley for the longest time, holding each other, as the snow fell all around us and the stardust poured from our eyes.

* * *

**Song: Stardust - Gemini Syndrome**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Invincible

It was hard to go back inside the apartment and face Takahiro. Both Misaki and I had forgotten about getting some alcohol, so I told Takahiro that the closest liquor store didn't have what we wanted. That man is so dense that he'll believe anything. He didn't even notice the redness in our eyes from crying. I wouldn't even know how to explain myself if he did notice.

The night went on like nothing ever happened. I finally got to meet Manami-san and talk with her. She seemed like a nice woman, actually. And pretty. I could see why Takahiro wanted to marry her.

Misaki also would not look me in the eyes the rest of the night. He talked only when he was spoken too, by anyone, and he kept twiddling his thumbs in his lap. His brother didn't notice his odd behavior at all.

When Takahiro announced he was taking Manami-san home, I volunteered to stay with Misaki until he got back. He beamed at us.

"Thank you, Usagi! I'm so glad you two have become such good friends."

Suddenly I realized that Misaki hadn't shown his brother his grades yet. "Oi, Misaki!" She didn't look up at me. "Show Takahiro your scores."

He got up and handed Takahiro the sheet of paper. His face was still flushed and he purposely avoided making eye contact with me. I watched the older Takahashi's eyes light up and his mouth open into a wide grin.

"Wow, Misaki! This is so great!" I then turned to Misaki and watched him smile in return. His face blushed a bit more. "You'll get into Mitsuhashi for sure! I'm so proud of you!"

His eyes widened as tears of joy pooled in them. His mouth opened wider as he smiled even more. If I could see into his soul right now, it would be full of love for his brother. Just hearing those words from him made Misaki the happiest person in the world. It was beautiful. It made me smile as well, even though I was just crying not too long ago.

Takahiro stepped forward and wrapped the boy up in his arms. He held him close, squeezing him tightly and ruffling his hair with his fingers. I wondered if he was happy just because he knew Misaki was happy, or if he was happy because he knew Misaki had done all of this for him.

When they pulled away, Takahiro held out his hand to me. I shook it firmly and smiled wide. "Thank you, Usagi. This means so much to us."

Me too, Takahiro.

He promised he would return soon and left to take his girlfriend home, leaving me alone with Misaki. The boy wiped his eyes and turned towards me. His eyes still did not meet mine as he stared at our feet.

"Th-thank you, Usagi-san," he said quietly. "Nii-chan was happy."

"Aren't you happy?"

He finally looked up a little. His hair covered the tops of his eyes. "Yes, but you got to see Nii-chan's face when he saw how well I did."

I did say that I wanted to see that. However, I spent most of the time watching Misaki's face instead. I wanted to see how happy he was when he realized that all of his hard work was paying off and that his brother was so proud of him. Takahiro was important too, but Misaki's happiness… That's all I care about.

He suddenly turned around. "W-well, g-goodnight!" He started to walk towards another room. "You don't have to stay to keep me company, Usagi-san. I'm fine all by myself."

I wasn't quick enough to catch him before he disappeared into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. There was no way I could tell him that I actually _wanted_ to stay there with him. I decided to just let it go and wait in the living room until Takahiro returned. I just figured that Misaki had a rough day. A lot did happen to him: getting good test results, finding out his brother was getting married, me kissing him.

_Me kissing him…_ I almost forgot about that. He must not have returned my feelings since he was avoiding talking to me or even looking at me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he really just does have that much empathy for people. He doesn't really like me like that.

But then what about _my_ feelings?

Before I could think about it anymore, Takahiro came back in. "Usagi! Thank you so much for preparing this for me today."

I smiled at him. "Not a problem, Takahiro! A lot of it was Misaki's idea."

"Oh and thank you so much for everything you've done for him! It's so great that he'll be able to get into M university after all. I knew you could do it. So what did you think of Manami-san?"

"She's great, Takahiro. Smart, funny, and pretty! It's about time you settle down with somebody."

For the past 10 years, I have dreamt of being with the man that stood before me. Those dreams were completely crushed just a few hours ago. I should still be heartbroken. In truth, it does hurt a little bit knowing that I'll never be able to get that close to Takahiro. Still, in my heart I don't feel so much pain.

He smiled wide at me. "Thank you, Usagi! You really should think about finding yourself a nice girl to settle down with too. You must be really lonely in that big house of yours all the time."

"I know," was all I could say.

We said goodnight and I walked back outside into the cold air. The snow had stopped falling, but a sheet of it covered the ground. It crunched beneath my shoes as I walked. As I made my way back to my penthouse, I couldn't help but think about how I have never felt lonely all by myself in my house. I've always been used to being alone. Always…

* * *

Misaki only had one tutoring session left after that. We barely talked for that hour and a half, even though I wanted to talk to him so badly about what had happened between us just a few days prior. I wanted to know how he felt about what I did and how he felt about me in general. However, I didn't want to pressure the kid.

Since the incident, all I thought about was him. He appeared in my dreams, which was definitely a refreshing break from my reoccurring nightmare. I began to wonder what he thought about things and what his past was like. I wanted to get to know him, aside from what Takahiro always said about him. I wanted to know the real him, not who Takahiro described him as.

During that last session, things were normal between us, at least on the outside. Inside, I was feeling uneasy. I knew what I did wasn't nearly as bad as what I did to him when he first starting coming for tutoring. Still, the kiss we shared was full of love and passion, at least on my part. I wonder if those feelings got across to him. They probably didn't, since he was acting so normal. I felt defeated, so I didn't bother to bring it up.

The next few weeks were a mess for me. I tried to write and be productive, but I just couldn't. It was impossible to write any of my boy's love novels. They all included Takahiro. I couldn't use him in my writing anymore since I knew he was getting married. I tried to write about other couples that I had dabbled in before, but my mind kept getting clouded with thoughts of Misaki.

Misaki…

I held onto my one-sided love for Takahiro for 10 long years. How could I possibly love someone else already? Especially someone I had only known for a few months. They're brothers, so of course they're similar, but is it really possible for me to love someone else?

Takahiro's wedding came and went. It was a small ceremony, but beautiful nonetheless. Neither Takahashi brother spent very much time with me. They were both too caught up in visiting their family and Manami-san's family.

A few days before the wedding, Takahiro called me and told me that Misaki had gotten into Mitsuhashi University. He was put on the wait-list, but he was still going to be a student there. I was so proud of him. I had wanted so badly to see his face when he got the letter saying he was accepted. If only I had been there…

The day after the wedding, Takahiro called me again. He sounded worried, yet excited at the same time. I hoped that it wasn't about Misaki not being able to go to Mitsuhashi after all. It would crush my heart for him not to chase after his dream of making Takahiro proud.

"Usagi, I'm being transferred to Osaka for work."

"Osaka? Takahiro, that's a great opportunity! You have to take it."

"I don't have a choice. If I don't go, I'll have to find another job. I really do want to go, but I don't want Misaki to give up on M university."

"Why can't he stay here in Tokyo?"

"I don't have the money to pay for two places. He'll have to get a part-time job, but I don't want him to get so caught up in working to pay rent that his grades suffer."

"I'm sure he can find some place cheap enough, Takahiro."

I was really excited that Takahiro was moving up in his company. On the other hand, I was upset that he was moving away. That would mean I wouldn't get to see him as often. I was also a little worried about Misaki and what he was going to do about staying in Tokyo.

The next couple days seemed to drag on forever. I felt miserable in my house. All I could think about was Misaki, living all alone in a small apartment. He would go to school in the morning and afternoon and work at night. He'd come home, study till midnight, fall asleep, and wake up and do it all over again the next day. He'd have no free time to be a college student. What kind of life is that?

I suddenly felt very small in my big penthouse. I was so used to having Misaki over almost every day that it was too lonely being all by myself each day. I really missed him… I missed his company, his feisty personality, his cuteness, his compassion for everyone around him… I missed him dearly.

The idea came to me out of nowhere. I didn't want to follow through with it at first, but I knew it really was a brilliant idea. Misaki could come live with me, rent free. He would be close to campus. He wouldn't have to get a job and worry about money. He could be a normal college student. And as for me, I could see his smiling face every day and have some company. He could even help me cook and clean.

_Usagi the Loner…_ Takahiro always called me that. Looks like he's wrong. I'm not a loner. I want to have his brother by my side.

I called Takahiro the night I thought of the plan to run it by him. I wasn't sure how he would react to it. He would be shocked, considering how I don't let people in my life like that. Would he allow me to look after his brother? Did he trust me that much?

Whoever picked up the phone sneezed loudly before speaking in a nasally voice. "Hello?"

"Eh? Takahiro? Is that you?"

"No, it's Misaki," he said, sniffing afterwards. "Nii-chan and Manami-san went to Osaka to look at houses." He suddenly began to cough violently. I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Sorry," he continued when he was done. "I have a fever."

"That sounds like more than a fever. You better get some rest. I'll call back in a few days to see if Takahiro's back."

"Okay, Usagi-san." He sniffed again. "Bye."

"Bye," I said back and hung up, realizing that I forgotten to ask him if he would like to try living in my penthouse.

He sounded so miserable over the phone. How could Takahiro abandon him when he was so ill? I felt awful about the poor kid being all alone when he was sick.

That was when I realized how much I cared for Misaki.

The next day, I went straight to the market and picked up a fruit basket. Misaki would need plenty of vitamin C to get better. I also picked up some medicines from the pharmacy. I wanted to visit him so badly, but I couldn't come empty handed. Maybe when I was over there I would also tell him that I would happy to be his landlord.

I arrived at his apartment, basket in hand, and rang the doorbell. I could hear footsteps and he yelled out that was he was coming. When he opened the door and saw me, he looked confused.

"What do you want?" He didn't say it in a mean way, but a surprised way instead. "I told you, Nii-chan isn't here."

I held out the basket of fruit to him. "I know. I'm here to visit the sick."

He sighed and let me in. His face was already flushed from the fever, but I'm sure he was blushing.

"You sounded like you were about to die last night over the phone," I told him as we walked in. "How are you feeling now?"

"It was terrible when I woke up!" He stopped walking when looked up at me. I looked down at him contently. "What?"

"Nothing…" He did look sick, but he was still walking around like normal. "Fever-dimmed eyes, rapid uneven breathing, and limp drooping limbs: I was expecting all that, but how come you still look so strong? And kinda dirty?"

"Get out of here!" he yelled at me angrily.

He went to the next room and lay down on his makeshift bed. I sat down beside the bed with the basket of fruit. I felt like I needed to take care of him.

"Did you eat anything?" He shook his head. "Nothing? How about an apple then?"

I ripped open the plastic and took out an apple. I got back up and went to the kitchen to get a peeler and a bowl. When I sat back down, Misaki looked at me with condescending eyes.

"Usagi-san, do you even known how to peel apples?"

I almost smirked. "Hey now! Even I can do that kinda measly thing!"

I started to slice the fruit but I soon realized that I was slicing too much of the apple off along with the skin. Before long, I was left holding the core and all the chunks of apple were on my lap. I guess I couldn't do anything commoners do after all.

"Give me that!" Misaki shouted as he bolted up.

He took another apple out of the basket and peeled it himself. The work made him pant and struggle to breathe. I felt bad for making him move while he was sick, but I knew I could do something else for him. I got up and started to empty the bag of medicines onto the kitchen table.

"Misaki, does your throat hurt?" I asked him. "If you stick this stuff on your chest, it works really well!" I pulled out another bottle. "If you want to get rid of the fever, better use some of this!" Then I pulled out an icepack. "Oh, and I got an icepack. Better use that too!"

I sounded really overprotective just now. What am I doing? I don't know anything about taking care of someone else. Besides, he doesn't seem to want me here anyways. I'll just go…

Before I could announce I was leaving, I noticed several magazines on the table. They were all housing ads. Many pages had been tabbed. Several of them were open and some of the ads were circled. They were all for one bedroom apartments in Tokyo. Misaki was planning on moving out on his own now. Does he really want to be alone?

"Well, taking care of the sick is kinda boring," I said.

"Then get out!" he yelled at me in between bites of apple.

I sighed and grabbed my things. "Why don't you sleep for a while?" I picked up a key on the stand by the door. "Is this your house key? I'll lock the door then stick the key in the mailbox. Take care!"

Just as I was about to leave, I felt guilty. I couldn't let Misaki live on his own and not experience living as a true college student. He would be so lonely without his brother around too…

"Hey," I said as I turned back around to him. "I was wondering… When Takahiro moves to Osaka, are you gonna rent your own place?" He nodded. "Got one already?"

"Not yet…" he said quietly. I couldn't tell if he was upset or just too weak.

"Then, how about coming to stay with me?" He didn't answer for a few moments. "My house is close to the school too."

"B-but rent… It's too expensive there."

"Never mind that! I don't need the money. Why don't you just save it up?"

"But…"

How could I possibly tell him that I want him there?

"I don't want to force an answer, and you don't have to answer me yet. Just think about it first. And if you don't want to talk to Takahiro about it then I will."

He sighed. "But, Usagi-san, you obviously hate people invading your personal space, don't you?"

So caring… "Yes, but… It's okay if it's you, Misaki. If I didn't want to I wouldn't have asked you. Just think about it."

I put the key back on the stand and went back over to where he lay. He looked at me, confused.

"Aren't you going back?"

"I changed my mind. How can I just leave a sick person like that?" I leaned over and tousled his hair. "You must feel really anxious when you're sick. Until Takahiro gets back, I'll sit here with you."

He stared up at me with water filling his eyes. "What kind of nursing game is this?! Besides, you'll just get bored if I fall asleep. And you better not try anything when I'm asleep or I'll kill you!"

I grinned at his feisty personality and ran my fingers through his hair. I could actually get used to this every day.

* * *

**Song: Invincible - Crossfade**

**A/N: Hello dear readers! Are you enjoying the story so far?**

**I'm curious as to know what people think of Akihiko. I feel like I've made him a bit OOC. He was going to be anyways later in the story, but in a darker way, when more of his past comes into play. I'd love to hear your thoughts and any constructive criticism you have! So please review! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while guys! I swear Netflix is now my mortal enemy... Also, been kinda depressed. You know how life happens...**

**Anyways, here's chapter 7. I guess the song for this one will be The Past - Sevendust.**

* * *

Chapter 7: The Past

I stayed by Misaki's side that night while he was sick. He was better the next day and I went home. He promised me that he would talk to Takahiro about staying with me when he and his wife moved to Osaka. It seemed that he was really thinking about taking me up on my offer.

A few days later, I received a call from Takahiro. I was expecting it, so when I heard the phone ringing I rushed downstairs immediately. I was working on my newest novel, a tragedy set during the end of World War II, when America dropped atomic bombs in Japan. It was poetically tragic and was sure to be a hit. Both myself and Aikawa-san thought so.

"Yes?" I answered into the telephone.

"Usagi, thank you for taking care of Misaki while I was away," Takahiro answered back. "It seems you two have become good friends!"

I smirked. "He has really grown on me, Takahiro."

"I see… He seems to really look up to you, Usagi. So much so that he believes he can live with you while he goes to school. I tried to tell him that you don't like others in your space, but he won't listen to me. He keeps insisting that you told him otherwise."

"I did. I made him the offer to live with me while he studied at M university."

"But he won't be able to pay any rent until he gets a job!"

"I know. I told him not to worry about the rent. In exchange for room and board, he can help me with the housework. And from what you've told me, he's an excellent cook and you know I can't cook for myself. Really, Takahiro, I think having Misaki stay with me would be beneficial for all three of us."

He paused for a few moments, probably thinking. "Are you sure about this, Usagi?" he finally said.

"I'm positive," I answered without hesitation.

He sighed happily. "Thank goodness. I was getting worried there for a bit. You'll let me know if he does anything to trouble you, right?"

"He won't do anything to trouble me, Takahiro."

And then we settled it: Misaki would come to live with me when Takahiro and Manami-san left at the end of the month. The overprotective man told me at least 5 times that it was only temporary and that he wouldn't let Misaki live as a freeloader off me forever. No matter how many times I told him that it was alright, he didn't listen.

Nevertheless, Misaki moved in with me at the end of the month. Takahiro and Manami-san brought him over and helped him carry in his bags. They were in a rush to get to the train to move into their new place themselves, so they left rather quickly. Misaki stood in the middle of the living room, glancing around at everything. It was certainly odd behavior considering he knew almost every room in the place already from when he had tutoring sessions here.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. "So, Misaki, let's take your bags up to the room you'll be staying in."

Without meeting my gaze, he picked up some bags and started walking up the stairs. I grabbed the other bags and followed. I directed him to the guest bedroom. It was small compared to the other rooms in the house. It only had a bed, a desk, a lamp, and an empty closet. Before Misaki came, it had been filled with some of my stuffed bears but I cleared all those out for him.

We sat the bags on the bed and he looked around the room, feeling everything. The bed had new sheets and blankets. I recently dusted and swept the whole room, even the inside of the closet. It wasn't much space, but I wanted what I could give to him to be nice. He felt the wood desk and opened the curtain on the window next to it.

"I don't remember this room," he said quietly.

I chuckled. "It was full of my stuffed bears last time you were here. I cleared it out and cleaned it all up for you."

He finally turned around and looked at me with gratitude in his sparkling green eyes. "For me?" I nodded and he looked down at the floor again. "Thank you, Usagi-san."

I reached my hand out and ruffled his hair, causing him to grunt in annoyance and embarrassment. He was too cute when he was embarrassed. He pushed my hand away and turned around.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Because you're cute," I answered.

He gasped, but didn't say anything back. I hadn't told him I thought he was cute since I molested him. He had to know by now that I'm in love with him. I spent so much time with him. I had kissed him and held him. I even let him move in with me. He has to see my feelings for him.

"I… I have to unpack," he said after a minute or two of silence.

I didn't say anything else. I knew I had to give him some space. Truth be told, I needed some thinking time of my own. I turned around and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

In my own room, I sat at my desk in front of my laptop. The document containing my novel in progress was open on the computer, but I didn't want to continuing writing at the moment. Moreover, I didn't have the capacity to store anything in my brain except thoughts of Misaki.

My dream had come true and now the person I loved was living with me. It seemed so odd at first that I didn't yearn for Takahiro anymore. I was so obsessed with him for 10 years and suddenly, that was all thrown away and replaced with a new love. It seemed so sudden… but was it really?

What about the time I molested him when we first met? I was angry and wanted to teach him a lesson. Honestly, I didn't think it would go that far. I thought he was fight me off more or scream for help. If he would have screamed, I would have stopped.

…Wouldn't I have stopped?

But he didn't scream. He let me stroke him. Judging by his moans, he felt good. My own hands made him orgasm. But did he truly want it? He couldn't have, but yet he didn't try to stop me.

Did I fall in love with him then? Or did it happen slowly while I was tutoring him? Either way, how did I miss it?

Suddenly, the phone rang, pulling me out of my thoughts. I rushed downstairs and to answer it. It couldn't be Takahiro. They had just left. It was most likely Aikawa-san, trying to persuade me to make the deadline that was coming up in a week.

"Hello?"

There was a pause. It was so silent on the other end that I didn't think anyone was there. I was about to hang up when I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Akihiko," came the voice on the other end. My name shot through his voice like venom.

"You." The word came out of my mouth like venom as well. "Why are you calling again? I told you, I'm not coming home. I can take care of myself."

He chuckled menacingly. "Father's not very happy that you haven't come home since I last called you. He's threatening to stop trying to protect you all together. Is that what you want, Akihiko? Do you want everyone to know what you did?"

The memories threatened to leak out of the dark crevasses of the back of my mind. I couldn't let them come out now. I had to deal with my brother and my father first. And I couldn't let Misaki know about my past. He would never want to be near me again after he heard it.

"No one will find out. Father already made sure of that all those years ago. Now leave me alone, both of you."

He began to rebuttal against me but I hung up the phone and unplugged the jack from the wall. If Takahiro needed to reach here, he could call Misaki's cell phone. If Aikawa-san needed me, she would show up at my door.

The dam that held the horrible memories back was slowly collapsing. I needed to take my mind off of things fast. I lit up a cigarette and made my way upstairs to see Misaki. He would surely make all the bad things go away. He could erase my past, at least from my mind.

Misaki was in the bathroom next to his room, combing his hair up into ridiculous spikes. It looked so weird, but he still looked incredibly cute. But, I couldn't let him go out in public to his college entrance ceremony. I reached out my hand and ruffled his hair down so that it looked normal. He screeched and looked down in defeat.

"You got in via the wait list," I reminded him. "Quit giving yourself airs."

He turned and looked at me angrily. "Shut up! It doesn't change the fact that I got accepted by Mitsuhashi!"

"True, you may have been wait-listed, but once you're enrolled, no one will know. Even though you were wait-listed, if you graduate properly, being wait-listed won't…"

"Quit talking about being wait-listed!" he screamed at me.

I was only trying to make him feel better about only getting in via the wait-list. Obviously, I didn't do a good job of that. I somehow offended him.

He started to go downstairs and I followed him as I finished my cigarette. I watched him put on a tie, poorly I might add. I almost sighed heavily as his poor attempt at being sophisticated.

"Hey, come on. What kind of knot is that?" I asked as I came up behind him. I grabbed his hands to show him how to properly tie a tie. His hands were warm and they seemed to fit in mine perfectly. "I'll do it for you, so learn."

"Yes, sir…"

As I was about to untie it and start over, I noticed something odd about his shirt. "Your buttons are misaligned. You're unbelievable!" I started unbuttoning his shirt from the top. "Here, take it all off."

He threw up his arms and began to struggle. "Ah, I'll do it myself! It was an honest mistake!" How adorably cute… "Besides, if I don't hurry, the entrance ceremony will…"

I leaned in close to his ear. "Don't worry. It only takes five minutes to get to Mitsuhashi in my red sports car."

Suddenly, I had to have more of him. I needed to get rid of the memories in my mind. I wanted to hold him and touch him again. He was just so cute that I couldn't stand it. I pulled us both down onto the couch so that he was sitting in my lap, his back against my chest.

He grunted as he landed. "Wait! Hold on! Are you dreaming?!"

I smirked and kissed the side of his head by his ear, making him cringe and blush. "You should be honored. To have won the affections of _the_ Usami-sensei… Surely you cannot know what a tremendous thing that is."

"I don't wanna know!" he screamed at me.

He began to struggle some more but I held him by his waist. Now he knew my true feelings for him, yet he still struggled against me. I brushed my open palm against the crotch of his pants, making him gasp.

"Stop!" he cried out, pushed my hand away with a lot of force.

Suddenly, he gave one powerful shove forward and was out of my arms. He turned around with an angry look in his eyes but his face was flushed. He didn't say anything, but walked away from me.

So, he can resist me. He is strong enough to fight me off.

So why didn't he when we first met? Obviously he had a thing for me.

I smiled. Oh feisty little Misaki… Winning over people who play hard to get is my specialty. You'll find that out soon enough.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

My relationship with Misaki progressed in a way… just not in the direction I wanted it to go. He opened up to me more in the sense that he wasn't afraid to push me away. He became extremely feisty. He always pushed me away whenever I tried to do anything to him and called me a 'perverted old man' every chance he got.

He wasn't mean to me at all. He was very polite and considerate of my feelings whenever I acted normal. However, when I "stepped out of line" (as he put it) he became angry and frustrated with my advances. Even after he pushed me away he would apologize for it.

The whole time, he never told me how he felt about me. He never said he liked me, but he never said he hated my guts either. Some days it felt like one and some days it felt like the other. Then there were days when it felt like both.

He had to like me though. Why else would he get extremely jealous when I compared him to Takahiro? Why did he cry for me when Takahiro announced his marriage? Why did he choose to live with me if he didn't like me? Most importantly, why does he get aroused whenever I do touch him?

He thinks I don't notice: his quivering body, his shaky gasps for air, his flushed face, or even his hardening member. He thinks he hides all of those things so well, but he really doesn't. I can see his flushed face; feel his body shake; caress the bulge through his pants; hear his sharp intake of breath. I know my touch turns him on. Why doesn't he just submit to me already?

It didn't take long for me to start using Misaki in my boy's love novels. How could I not? He was absolutely adorable. The novels are a form of my fantasies after all. Therefore, I began a new boy's love series starring myself and Misaki. It was quite genius actually: full of romance, playfulness, and, of course, lots of hot sex.

I worked diligently for once on this novel. It was one of my best works and the ideas wouldn't stop flowing. Aikawa-san was very excited for it. Or maybe she was just happy that I was working hard to meet the deadline for this book for once. Anyways, I just really enjoyed writing about Misaki and me, especially having hot sex.

I finally finished the novel the morning of the deadline shortly before I was supposed to have breakfast with Misaki. I made sure to eat every meal with him (as long as I didn't have to put up with work) just like in a normal household, because I wanted him to feel like he was at home with his brother… and because I love him.

I printed out the novel, saved it to a disk, lit up a cigarette, and grabbed Suzuki-san. I kicked open the office door at exactly 7 a.m. I was dead tired from the all-nighter I pulled, but I was also hungry and wanted to see Misaki. There he was, standing by the table in an apron (which was incredibly sexy) looking slightly concerned.

"Good morning," he greeted me cheerfully as I came downstairs.

"Morning…" I said with a sleepy voice.

"Did you finish your work?"

"Yeah…"

I placed the manuscript of my boy's love novel next to the couch before I sat down at the table, placing Suzuki-san in his own seat beside me. Misaki took off his apron and sat down at the seat directly across from me. He had prepared lots of delicious looking food this morning. He cooked every meal for us and they were all delicious. He was an excellent cook. I wondered why he wanted to go to school for economics rather than becoming a chef. Of course, then he couldn't attend Mitsuhashi like he so badly wanted to do.

"Thanks for the food!" I said before I began to eat.

Misaki followed suit and we ate in silence for a while. The food tasted wonderful and I couldn't help but stare at the eggs he had prepared. I picked a piece up with my chopsticks and stared at it, absolutely fascinated by it. Maybe it was the lack of sleep driving me mad.

"Eggs are great, aren't they?" I said. He seemed confused. "They're just so yellow, somehow." Yeah, I definitely needed sleep. I put down the egg and switched gears. "What time do you have to be at school today?"

"Um, 8:30."

"Then I'll take you."

I thought I may have heard him gasp lightly. "That's okay. It's only takes 15 minutes to walk there."

I smiled slightly at him. "It's fine. I'm taking you."

Misaki's eyes lowered and he suddenly looked slightly unhappy. Did he not want me to take him? Did he really want to walk there if he didn't have to? Does he hate me that much? With that last thought swarming around in my head, we ate the rest of our breakfast in silence.

When he got up to go do the dishes, I couldn't take it anymore. It had been so long since I last touched him. Any other time I had touched him before he would push me away. Would it be any different now? Has he grown to like me?

"Usagi-san," Misaki called out from the kitchen.

That did it. Hearing him call my nickname like that was too much for me. I had to have him now. He may have gotten the nickname from his brother, but it was something that only Misaki called me. It was special and hearing him say it just made my heart stumble in my chest.

"If you have any dirty clothes, bring them out," he called as I stepped into the kitchen behind him. "I'll do the laundry before I go to school." The sound of the running water in the sink made it impossible for him to hear me sneak up behind him. "Also, I'll leave your lunch in plastic wrap, so just microwave it-"

Misaki… always so kind.

At his last words I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my chest into his back. His whole body stiffened and he stopped washing the dishes. My hands were dangerously close to his chest. I could feel his heart furiously pumping. There was a wide array of emotions he could be feeling: anger, excitement, nervousness, or embarrassment.

"Um… excuse me?" His voice was shaky.

"I'm out of Misaki," I whispered with a sexy tone in his ear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked almost angrily.

"I was abstaining until my work was done, so I need to recharge."

I reached over him and turned off the faucet. I pulled his body close to me again and began to pull him over to the couch. He struggled a little bit, but nothing much. He mostly grunted and kept telling me to wait or stop. I fell back onto the couch and pulled him down on my lap. My arms moved from around his neck to around his waist. I rubbed his chest all the way down to his pants. I rubbed the bulge that had already formed there. Oh yes, he _definitely_ wanted me.

"H-hey! Usagi-san, don't play with me!" he cried out as I unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts.

His whole body trembled in my arms. I finally reached into his boxer shorts and ran my fingers up and down his hardening member. He gasped as I touched him, but didn't try to push me away. I could feel his cock leaking and getting nice and wet.

"For all that, you're responding nicely," I commented.

"H-hey! What are you touching-" he cried out in a shaky voice as I wrapped my hand around his cock and began to pump, rendering him speechless.

"Say, Misaki, were you doing it yourself while I was away?" I asked with a smirk on my face.

I then leaned my head down and nibbled on the top of his ear. His body shook even harder and I heard his heart racing his chest. He moaned a very beautiful sound. As I continued to jerk him off, my other hand slipped underneath his hoodie and rubbed his chest.

"So innocent…"

"Sh-shut up!" he yelled half-heartedly. "You… perverted old man!" Yet he still trembled from the pleasure.

Just as my hand reached his nipples, he slithered out of my grasp and shoved both of my hands away. He pushed himself away from me, using my chest as something to push against. He lost his balance on his feet and crashed into one of my piles of manuscript. He cried out as he fell onto his back and the papers went flying everywhere. Great, now I would have to reorganize those for Aikawa-san later.

"Ow, that hurt…" Misaki whined.

"Hey, don't scatter my manuscripts all over the place," I scolded him as I stood up and lit another cigarette.

"Shut up!" he screamed at me. "Don't stack your manuscripts out here!"

I didn't say anything. His darkening eyes told me he was angry. I knew he was just enjoying what I was doing to him. Why was he so angry about it all of a sudden? I know he liked it and he has to like me. Why does he keep pushing me away like this?

He began to pick up the pieces of paper around him. He suddenly paused as he looked at one and his eyes widened. Fuck… He's reading it. He's definitely going to get mad about this. His already dark green eyes became even darker. His arms shook his anger.

"You bastard!" he spat at me. "Turning me into a pervert without my permission!"

"I was on a roll today. The words practically wrote themselves." I saw the disclaimer page lying in front of me and picked it up. "Don't worry. I'll be sure to include, 'This story is a work of fiction and in no way refers to actual people or organizations'." I made sure to point at the page so he could see that I had already included that.

His hands ripped the piece of paper he was holding in half and he threw his head back and screamed, "That's not the issue!"

The usually quiet and caring boy suddenly went into a fit of rage. He grabbed every paper of the manuscript he could get his hands on and tore them to shreds. He screamed the entire time. "How do you like this?! You won't be able to publish it now!"

I almost wanted to laugh at that. I pulled the disk it was saved on out of my pocket and held it up. "What are you, stupid? The real thing's over here."

He screamed and ran over to grab it from him. I was too tall for him and he just stood below me, jumping and pathetically trying to take it from me. As I walked into another room of the house, he ran after me.

"Hand it over!" he yelled. "Rewrite it! This is a human rights violation! It's libel!" I already knew that. I graduated at the top of my class at Teito Law. That's also why I knew I could get around it with this disclaimer loophole. "Why do you always do this kind of thing, anyway?!" he accused me. "Don't you get it?! This is sexual harassment! It's a criminal act!" Hardly…

I turned around to him and looked sternly into his eyes. "Why, you ask?" I slammed my hand into the wall beside us. Why did this kid have to piss me off all the time? Even though I love him? "What a pointless question. The answer is obvious. Because I want to."

His eyes narrowed at me. He definitely looked like he wanted to kill me. Honestly, even though he was angry and didn't try to hide it, he still looked incredibly cute. Too bad this whole ordeal completely ruined the mood that was between us before. I would have loved to hear the noises he makes when he orgasms. One day I will…

I suddenly looked up at the clock and noticed that it was already 8:15. I sighed and grabbed my keys from the table next to the door. Misaki cried out something about being late and rushed upstairs, probably to get ready. He came back down soon after wearing pants instead of shorts and carrying a messenger bag.

He didn't dare look at me as we went down to the car park and got into the car. He kept his gaze on our surroundings outside his window as we flew past everything. He didn't speak to me either until we were almost there.

"Um, Usagi-san? I'm sorry…" I knew he was sincere, but he still sounded a little frustrated.

Misaki was always thinking of others before himself…

"Its fine, Misaki." We reached the school and he got out of the car. His eyes finally met mine when he turned around to close the door. They were back to being their normal bright green color. "Call me when you're ready to go home. I'll come get you."

"Sorry to trouble you," he said again.

He was about to turn and leave when I called for him again. "Misaki." He looked in the rolled window and I smiled at him. "See you later."

He slightly blushed. "Take care."

I had expected a smile. Why didn't he smile? Didn't he see how much I cared about him? That was all I could think about as I drove back home to go to bed.

* * *

**You all know what's going to happen next right?!**

**So, fair warning: soon I'm going to be digging into Akihiko's past. I'm not sure when I'm going to do a big reveal: I might draw it out for a long time cause I'm mean like that! :D But Akihiko will become a bit OOC and his past will definitely be different.**

**Reviews please? They're my anti-drug!**


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